dog

October 25th 2005,

At 8.13 a.m this morning my dog was hit by a car, causing her some serious injuries. At the moment we don't know how severe her condition is just that she has a broken leg that is litterally hanging off. She was hit by a young driver, who stopped to see if she was okay.

Here's hoping she will pull through! She has been a member of our family for eleven years an dis very much loved.

Thinking..

October 22nd 2005,

Today was a special day for our family, a memorial service was held for my grandmother. She passed away eight months ago and the pain of loosing her is still as raw as it was eight months ago. I read a letter and a poem that I had written for my grandmother. It was a very emotional, moving but yet it was also joyfull.

We were able to remember my grandmother for the kind,loving person she was. My grandmother wasn't just my grandmother but she's also my hero. She helped me become the person I am today, though life without her is hard there is always a special place for her in my heart and in my mind.

She's no longer in pain and her suffering has come to an end, but for those of us who are left behind our pain and suffering has only just began. But togther we will make it through, we continue to be a close family we have become closer since my grandmother's death I know she will have been proud to see us supporting each other through the hard times.

What a wait!

October 18th 2005,

My mother phoned the hospital today to ask about my scans, and she was told that I have been pu ton the 22 WEEKS waiting list!!! The only person who can speed it up is my surgeon, he has tride that all ready. So we are considering just doing the surgery, or have the scans done at our local hospital.

i'm back...

October 11th 2005,

We returned home yesterday morning after a fantastic weekend away we had such a blast!!!! We did a lot of shopping and talked and laughed all weekend! We didn't arrive until after midnight on Friday and we were up and out of the house by 8.00 am!!!

I had been feeling sick all weekend but put it down to doing too much.

My friend and I had so much fun, it was great catching up!

going..

October 6th 2005,

Tomorrow I will be going away for a few days to stay with my dad and his family. My friend is coming too and we are planning on doing some major shopping!!!! we won't be able to go clubbing as i'm still on my antibiotics! SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL!!!!! LOL!!!!

update..

October 1st 2005,

My infection has spread to the left side of my face and I am on two different types of antibiotics for two weeks. I will have my scans in two weeks cross fingers!!!!

My face is still swollen and I look so funny! Hey at least I can laugh with them right?

signed..

September 27th 2005,

I saw my surgeon today and he isn't happy with my progress and has signed me off work until further notice as he feels i'm not ready to go back just yet. He's concerned that I was able to open my mouth 20mm two weeks ago and now I can only open my mouth 17 mm.

I'm still waiting for the scans but hopefully I will have them next week. And once I have my scans I will be admitted into hospital for my next surgery. He's going to have a look around depending on what the scans show, he's also planning on removing some of the hardware.

cruel..

September 26th 2005,

The weather here has been great the past few days the nursery has been so hot even with the windows open. My hair is growing back nicely now so I decided to wear a hair band that covers the scar instead of wearing my hat as it gets very hot.

As I was walking up the path I could hear a few of the girls laughing but I took no notice. As I was walking through another room I could hear them say that I should have stuck to wearing my hat and that I looked awful with hair like that! Again this came out of the blue and I faught so hard not to cry, but I was determined not to show them that I was hurt by their comments.

I'm finding work a lot harder as I don't have half the energy as I used to have. I am unable to sleep due to the swelling, pain and discomfort. I see my surgeon in the morning and he will probably sign me off work again.

back...

September 23rd 2005,

My first day back at work! I was so exited but also nervous about going back to work it feels like my first day again! I have been into work a few times since my surgery so my work friends have seen the new me and have been great! Though I wasn't prepared for what they had to say.

A few of the girls made comments about my dents under my eyes and how bad they looked. I explained to them that it's still early days in my recovery and it will take time. When they thaught I had gone out of the room they went onto say how bad my speech is. I was heartbroken to hear them say such a thing, I know my speech has got worse since my surgery but again it's still early days. And I didn't expect them to say anything.

Other than that I loved being back though i'm shattered and want to go to bed I had a good day!

finally...

September 13th 2005,

I saw my surgeon today and though my infection is still there and i'm still badly swollen my surgeon has agreed that I can go back to work. We feel that going back to work will help me in many ways. He also said that he has noticed that i'm not as happy/bubbly as I normally am, I said that i'm in too much pain to be happy and cheerfull all the time and i'm tired of fighting something that I can't win. Not to mention the fact that I feel like my life is on hold, i'm only 20 years old and have so much things to do and see but feel like my life is on hold.

We all agreed that I can go back to work but to take things slowly and if think that i'm not ready to go back then I shouldn't go back just yet.

First...

September 6th 2005,

I saw my ortho today I haven't seen her since a month post-op. She was shocked to see that i'm still very sore and swollen and having endless problems with my recovery. She also fixed my brace taht was broken during surgery and it sure did HURT!!!!! I can't open my mouth very wide at the moment despite doing jaw exercises and not to mention the ammount of talking I do!!!

She was able to see that I was in a lot of pain and discomfort and gave me some pain meds! She also said that my jaw is starting to relapse so I have to wear bands on my teeth to prevent any further movement. They're not the bext things to wear but if it reduces the chances of needing another op then I will wear them.

She also called my surgeon in as she wasn't happy with my progress and the infection. He was able to see that things have got worse since I last saw him a week ago and wants to keep a closer eye on things. He also said that after iv'e had my scans that i'm STILL waiting for he wants/needs to do another op. He said that he wants to go in and have a look etc I told him that he had done that last month. He said that he hadn't and the only op he's done is jaw surgery!!!! I thaught he was only joking and I said no you did it last month. Luckily my ortho steped in and said that she knows that he did a second surgery because she was there!! He suddenly remembered that he had done another surgery!!!! I was starting to get worried that it was someone else had done the surgery!!!

Spetember 1st 2005,

There is still no news about my scans and my surgeon is going to hurry things along again. I am on more antibiotics as my infection is spreading and is worse than ever. My face is so swollen, one side is a lot more swollen than the other side and I look stupid. But i'm determined not to hide away after all there is no telling how long I will be like this!

After my jaw surgery I didn't hide away after all I have got nothing to hide away from and i'm not ashamed of who I am so why should I hide away?

I'm bored at home and can't wait to go back to work and into some normality, though I don't feel up to it right now. Hopefully soon I will be back amongst my work friends!

congratulations..

August 12th 2005,

My mother passed her driving test today she was very nervous before going but I had faith in her and knew she would pass. She was chuffed to pieces!!!

I'm still on my antibiotics due to the infection and was re-admitted into hospital for further treatment last week. I'm still waiting for my MRI and CAT scan, my surgeon is going to hurry things along.

infections...

July 29th 2005,

I'm still fighting my battle with the re-occuring infections and still waiting for my scan. My face is so sore and swollen right now I am unable to get comfy at night and would give anything for a good nights sleep. But regardless of all the infections and complications I have had I have no regrets about going through with the surgery. How can I regret going through with the surgery I am a lot happier and a lot more confident not to mention the fact that I also have a great looking nose and I have cheek bones for the first time in my life!!!!

My surgeon asked what I like best but I don't know the surgery has changed so much that I am happy with everything. But it probably would be my nose or cheek bones, when ever I start to get down or face another problem I look at pre-op photo's and then look in the mirror then I remember why I did it.

another infection

July 20th 2005,

It has been over a week since my surgery and it has been a very difficult recovery with many ups and downs. But as ever I have come through it all laughing and joking with my family by my side.

I have seen my surgeon again and he's given me more antibiotics for yet another infection. I was hoping that the op would be the last of the infections but it seems that it was a waste of time.

I'm still waiting for my MRI scan I hope it will be done soon as I can't put up with this much longer.