jaw surgery

6 days to go..

2007-05-26T02:25:00.000-07:00

In 6 days my surgery will finally be over with! I am counting down the days until my surgery,it will be a relief when it's all over with though once again I am dreading the recovery (as always!!)

I have finished work until after my surgery, as I go into hospital on Wednesday. I will miss being in work around the children and my friends but one things for sure I won't miss the early mornings!!! I got some cute presents from some of the children and their parents and several good luck cards which was nice and a surprse.

My little brother who's 6 years old got me a cute teddy bear for me to take with me to the hospital to look after me when he's not there, until I come home so he can look after me! That bought a tear to my eyes as he is such a sweet little brother.

I am nervous about my surgery especially with the added risks this time round, and I did have a meltdown last night. My mom as always is behind me 100% just wish I could say the same about my dad.

I am going to see some friends today to help take my mind off the surgery for a few hours.

Keep smiling :)

surgery a week today...

2007-05-25T02:51:00.000-07:00

A week today I will be having my next surgery. Once again it is a big surgery and will take several hours but hopefully the surgery will be successfull in every way possible.

I will be having rhinoplasty, fistula repair using ear cartlidge that involves re-opening the palate a little, p-flap revision, 2nd p-flap, plates and screws removed by my eyes/nose, folds of skin removed by my nose and scar revision of the scars inside my mouth.

Due to the complications I had before I have to go into hospital before the day of my surgery for medication to prevent blood clots and to help my blood clot which will be hard to do both but they know what they're doing! (I HOPE!!!!) I will be in hospital for a few days then heopfully I can come home.

I have finished work now until after my surgery, I am hoping to be back at work within a few weeks depending on what my surgeon says. The main issue I will have post op will probably be eating as I am a very fussy eater and being on a liquid diet will be hard as I don't like soup etc!

I am very nervous about my surgery though I know I will be in good hands. Please keep my family and I in your thaughts and prayers as we embark on this next hurdle. Once again my mom has been amazing and a big support to me.

Sarah

loose screw..

2007-03-18T09:17:00.000-07:00

Almost two years post op and another problem arrises... I have a loose screw on the side of my nose. Very painfull. I have had a date for my surgery June 1st!!! I can't wait to have clear speech again!!! Hopefully my surgery will be done sooner..

Another surgery..

2007-02-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

Feb-6th-2007

Today is a sad day for my family and I, it marks two years since my beloved grandmother passed away. We love and miss her dearly.

I saw my oral and maxillofacial surgeon today and I will have more surgery on my nose, p-flap repair and fistula reapir. Hopefully it will improve my speech as I hate my speech right now.

Sarah

re-doing the surgery...

2006-11-11T14:44:00.000-08:00

I am now 18 months post op and my surgeon dropped the bombshell today that we may have to re-do the surgery again. My nose is too wide and needs building up at the top between my eyes. My upper jaw isn't in the correct position and my surgeon feels that I would benefit from having it moved again.

He said that he would have to move my upper jaw forwards which means another bone graft. He would be able to combine the other procedures the same time. But before he does any surgery he needs to talk to my Orthodontist and make some measurements. I was hoping to have my braces removed early December but that won't be happening now.

It was upsetting to hear that I would need to go through the surgery again, I have every faith in my surgeon but going through it a second time and knowing what's ahead of me makes it a little scarier.

I need to think things through before the next appointment and tell my surgeon what I think. My mother was upset when she first heard what my surgeon said and wants to talk to him before he does surgery. I don't blame her for being upset as she was the one who took care of me last time and through all my other surgeries. I don't know what I would do without her.

I had a videofluroscopy done this week to see if my p-flap was working properly, and the conclusion we came to was that it isn't working. It's probably making more damage then good. We will discuss our options at the next appointment.

But for now I have a lot of thinking to do once again.............

18 months post op...

2006-11-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

It has been 18 months since jaw surgery I am back at work and loving my job. My recovery was a very eventfull one and another surgery will be coming up some time soon.

The surgery affected my speech badly and I can't wait to get it fixed.

I see my surgeon next week to discuss surgery.

a year ago

2006-05-06T10:48:00.000-07:00

Friday May 5th 2006,

It has been a year since my upper jaw surgery, major nose reconstruction,cheek bone and bone graft surgery. I clearly remember the days running up to surgery I had mixed emotions, I coudln't wait to get the surgery over and done with and to see the end result but I was also facing tha biggest surgery of my life.

My recovery didn't go to plan and I encountered several complications down the line even at 12 months post-op. I still have a few more surgeries ahead of me but now i'm 12 months post-op we can go ahead and schedule the next surgery.

the next surgery will probably be surgery to fix my dents as they look really bad now and my speech. I can't wait to be able to read a story for the kids at work during story time and not feel embarrassed about my speech.

Despite all I have been through I would do the surgery all over again if I had to.

happy easter, update..

2006-04-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

Sunday April 16th 2006,

Happy easter!!!

I have been on antibiotics, anti flammatroy nasal sprays for three weeks now with no improvement. I see my surgeon again in a few weeks as i'm going on Vacation soon!! Then we will discuss what surgery we will do next and when.

But the list is to have my sunken eyes fixed, my speech and some more work on my nose. Which will hopefully be done sometime in May as I will be a year post op beginning of May. Time sure does fly when you're having fun!!!!!

remembering..

2006-04-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

Sunday April 10th,

Birthday wishes sent up to heaven to a special person I know and love who I miss dearly. Not only was she my grandmother she was my friend, my hero and my inspiration.

Missing you always nain,
Always in my heart..

Sarah

another infection

2006-03-20T01:23:00.000-08:00

March 16th,

I have yet another severe infection and once agin in hospital trying to get rid of the infecion. I'm looking forwards to my holiday which is only 5 weeks away. All I need to do is get better so I can go!

21 today..

2006-03-20T01:20:00.000-08:00

March 10th 2006,

Today I turned 21 years old. It was a fantastic day and I was spoilt rottern!

another infection.. and snow!!

2006-02-28T10:09:00.000-08:00

Tuesday 28th of Febuary 2006,

After having a few days off the antibiotics to see what would happen I have yet another infection. Which means i'm back on antibiotics with the hope that this time the infection will have gone.

Work is much better now and i'm enjoying being back at work.

I have several hospital appointments this month and also my birthday! I can't wait!

And we have SNOW we don't get much snow usually but we have had a lot of snow the past two days and we're expected to have more snow for the rest of the week!!

update...

2006-02-07T13:42:00.000-08:00

Tuesday January 7th 2006,

I am 8 months post op from upper jaw surgery, major nose reconstruction, cheek bone and bone graft surgery. My recovery is far from complete, I still have some swelling. My jaw is still very sore and tender which makes talking very painfull (but it doesn't stop me from talking!!!) I can only eat certain foods that don't need a lot of chewing.

I am 2 months post-op from hardware removal. I see my ortho again next week to see how things are progressing. I'm still wearing my bands as I am having some problems with my bite.

I'm back in work, i'm finding it very tiring and having some problems settling back in.

a year

2006-02-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

Monday January 6th 2006,

A year ago a very special person in my life passed away. She was my rock, not only was she my grandmother but she was also my hero. I admired my grandmother for who she was, she was such a kind, caring person with a heart of gold.

I miss her more than words can say.

looking back

2006-02-07T13:22:00.000-08:00

I was hoping that 2005 would be a great year for me but it turned out to be the worst year of my life! Over the past ten months I have had many up's and down's. The year started off great I even got a new job doing some thing I have always wanted to do, work with children. The day before I was due to start my new job my grandmother passed away, we were very, very close and to loose her so soon and so suddenly was heartbreaking. There is a big hole in my heart and in my life and everything seems so cruel and unfair. Telling my nine year old cousin was heartbreaking, knowing that I was going to break his little heart was unbearable. He asked me why god had taken our grandmother to be an angel in heaven when she was an angel here with us. I was devastated by my grandmother's death I was so angry, I also felt guilty for not being with her when she died though my mother and aunt was with her I still felt like I should have been there for her. I miss my grandmothermore than words can say she was a great person and I will always remember her for the happy, cheer full person she was but I just wish she was here today.As a family we helped each other through but it didn't make it any easier. People would pass me on the street, some would stare some would cross the road to avoid me other's woudl stop and stare.

As I tried to come to terms with my grandmother's death I wrote a poem and a letter for my grandmother, I ended up reading them out at the funeral. It was hard standing up in front of all those people feeling so sad and angry, but through my tear's and a few smiles I did finish it I wanted to do it for my gran. It was a nice service and the church was full, it was nice to see that so many people had come to pay their respects for such a wonderfull woman. The day of the funeral my 14 year old cousin had decided that she would be attending the funeral and wanted to sit by me. We cried together, we held each other and we comforted each other.Two weeks after my grandmother's death I started my new job, it was hard starting a new job under such circumstances. The hospital is next door to my work place so that was a battle in it's self. But my grandmother was so proud of me for following my dream and getting the job that I felt I had to do it for her.I was also nearing my journey through orthognathic surgery (jaw surgery), I was given a very difficult choice to make as to which surgery I was going to have. But with the help of my mum and surgeon I came to the decision that was right for me, though it was a lot more complicated and a bigger operation it was the right one for me.

I had endless hospital appointments the months running up to the surgery but I couldn't wait to get it over with, though at times it did feel like I was doing too much at once after all I was struggling to come to terms with my grandmother's death, I had started a new job and facing the biggest operation of my life. But my family and friends helped me through and I knew that I could do it. In April I was given my surgery date and I had mixed emotions, part of me was looking forwards to the surgery and to the "new" me, but the other part of me was dreading the surgery and most of all the recovery.I saw my surgeon every week until the surgery and i'm glad that I was able to see him as often as I did even if it did mean a three hour drive there and back. He was able to answer all the questions my mother and I had and put my mind at rest. He also had to go through the surgery in detail with me and the risks and complications of the surgery, I didn't want to know but had to be told. The week running up to surgery all I could think about was the surgery, I went into hospital the day before my surgery. I saw my surgeon for the final time until the surgery and also got to meet the assisting surgeon. My mother was more anxious/worried than I was and had a long list of questions for the surgeon. The only question I had was how much hair they were going to shave off!!! Now you're probably wondering why they were shaving my hair off! Not only were they going to do jaw surgery but they were also going to fix my small, flat nose and to do that they had to cut under each and and from earto ear.

My surgeon found it amazing after all I was facing a major op in the morning and I was worried about how much hair they were going to shave off!Needless to say the night before the op was a very restless night, I couldn't sleep because I was nervous about the day ahead but I was also exited. After all this operation was going to make a big difference to me. As soon as I went to sleep it was time to get up again! and get prepared for surgery. My mum came just before the porter came, she was worse than I was. I could tell that she had been crying, she was nervous and scared about the operation and to make things worse no one knew how long the surgery would last. Going to the anesthetic room is was surprisingly calm and for the first time in my life I didn't cry.I can remember opening my eye's for a moment in recovery room and then went back to sleep, though I could hear people talking around me. My mum came to see me and almost passed out, she had been warned that I had lost a lot of blood during the operation and was very, very pale. I also had several tubes, IV lines in place not to mention the drains. The following day I was in a lot of pain and discomfort even the slightest move hurt, thankfully my pain medication was increased. My eye's were very blurry and I had double vision so I couldn't see anyone let alone talk to them, I couldn't even write anything down for them, not like I felt like it. My only way of communication was to squeeze someones hand once for yes twice for no.

That night I began having breathing problems which caused everyone a great deal of concern.
They ran several tests, took some x-rays and the physio came to see me even though I couldn't/wasn't allowed to get out of bed. I had a blood clot on my lung which wascausing my breathing problems, so I was given even more medication for that.All I wanted to do was sleep I was tired and was pumped with all kinds of medication and of course recovering from a major op that took over 14 HOURS!!! My poor mother was pacing the hospital floors for 14 hours luckily her friend was staying with her as we were three hours away from home. But I was never short of visitors, friends and family were making the three hour drive to the hospital armed with cards and gifts. My bed looked like a gift shop it was full of cards, letter's, gifts and balloon's.

After four days in bed I was finally allowed out of bed, with the help of the nurse and physio's I was able to get out of bed and into the chair next to my bed. Though it was very,very pain full I was glad to be out of bed and I was having breathing problems again so we were hoping it would help.I was told that I needed to start taking fluids in again as I had been on the drip for five days, but it wasn't all plain sailing. Every time I tried to drink I would choke, I kept trying but nothing helped. I also wanted to get up and walking again despite being in a lot of pain I wanted to get up and about. When the physio came with a zimmer frame I was disgusted! but he said that before I could start with crutches I would have to use the frame. I managed a few steps before passing out, causing more worry for those around me so it was back to bed for me. The surgeon did more tests and gave me yet another blood transfusion six in total, my iron levels were extremely low.

The following day we tried the frame again and with the help of my surgeon, physio, mum and the other patients I was able to do a few steps. I still had a hard time drinking so the speech therapist came to help, and I was able to drink a few drops at a time. But once I got the hang of drinking through a syringe and beaker I did better.Then all of a sudden my legs stopped working! Alarm bells started ringing and I was scared that I wouldn't be able to feel my legs again. Several different doctor's came and went through the night doing test after test. No one seemed to know the reason why this was happening, all I could do was sit and wait praying that the feeling in my legs would come back. Two days later the feeling in my legs returned and I was able to use them again, though we were cautious not to do too much physio. I was finally allowed to go home after ten days in hospital armed with crutches, I was only able to get around with my crutches and I was totally dependent on everyone around me.

The next few days were both physically and emotionally draining, I also got frustrated at times because no one could understand a word I was saying and writing it down took too long. I was still shocked at how much different I looked. Two weeks post-op I finally had the 183 staples taken out from my head and was finally allowed to wash my hair! My hair was a horrible shade of red!!! from all the blood. When I washed my hair I wasn't prepared for what happened, my hair started to come out and I was left with three big bald patches. Luckily my hair covered it but I knew they were there, and over the next two weeks more of my hair fell out and I was devastated. My surgeon didn't know why this was happening as he had never seen it happen before, I was later diagnosed with alopecia. I wore a baseball hat to cover my bald patches up, I hate wearing hats especially baseball hats but I soon got used to it! now I won't leave the house without my hat.My recovery was a very difficult recovery and full of complications, not only had lost half of my hair but the wound on my hip where they opened to take the bone graft got infected and opened up, resulting in an emergency dash to the local hospital. Then things went down hill I was re-admitted into hospital 6 times due to infection after infection. I also had another surgery beginning of August, sadly it turned out to be a waste of time. I also had breathing problems after that op too.

The surgery has badly affected my speech and people can't understand what i'm saying. I was told before the surgery that there was a risk of deterioration in speech but I wasn't prepared for such a big change, but with further surgery that can be sorted. I also have a dent under each eye and they look bad. I constantly look tired and sick, I mentioned it to my surgeon and he said that sometimes a revision is needed and that he can always fix it! When I saw my orthodontist for the second time after surgery she mentioned that my jaw is relapsing, so I now have to wear bands on my teeth to try and prevent any further damage/movement. They're not the best things to wear but if it means that it could prevent another surgery then I will wear them. I will have my braces in for another five months and then I will have the caps, crowns, bridges etc put in place for the final touches to my fantastic smile!! At last I have a smile that i'm proud of I have a lot more confidence in myself now.Before my surgery I was told that I would have to take six to eight weeks off work, but after my surgery I was told six to ten weeks by the physio. I had a terrible time walking on my hip and could only get around with crutches, I was later told that they had taken too much bone from my hip which was the reason it was so pain full. But as a result of the long list of complications and a very slow recovery I was off work for almost five months. I returned to work even though I wasn't feeling 100%, but I felt like my life was on hold and wanted to get back to doing what I love doing. After a week in work it was clear that I wasn't ready to go back, my infection flared up yet again, and I was still very weak and worse for wear from both operations.

I went into hospital December 1st for my scans and ready for surgery Dec 2nd, when I went into hospital they took some blood samples. Late that night one of my Dr's came to see me saying that there was a problem with my blood and that he needed to run more tests to make sure. He told me that my blood was too thick and clotting, he asked if there was any family history and I started to panic. I explained to him that my grandmother had died as a result of a blood clot early this year, I also reminded him that after jaw surgery I had a clot on my lung. I spent hours worrying about it but luckily it was a lab error and everything was ok. I was also told that my surgeon wouldn't be doing any kind of procedure and that he would only be taking a look around. But when I woke up in recovery I felt awfull and i was in a lot of pain, I couldn't understand why!! As I went to touch my face a nurse told me not to touch my face that there had been a complication in theatre. My surgeon came to seeme and said that there was nothing to worry about and that he had removed two plates and some screws due to severe infection. Now we will wait and see how things heal and we will plan our next surgery in March..

I am hoping to have all my operations done and dusted early next year. But for now I will concentrate on getting better and enjoy my life to the full! My friends can't wait until I am out clubbing with them again as it has been a while. I couldn't have asked for better friends they have been behind me through the good times and the bad times. They were there for me night or day and I will always remember that. If someone would have told me this time last year what the year 2005 had install for my family and I, I wouldn't have believed them. It all seems like a horror story but sadly this night mare is 100% true. My grandmother has been gone for ten months now, but it feels like it was only yesterday that I got a call to say she was sick. My grandmother wasn't just my grandmother but she was also my hero. I will always cherish the memories, pictures and everything that reminds me of my grandmother. And one day we will be together once again but until then I will live life to thefull after all life is for living as my grand mother would say.

christmas....

2005-12-23T13:54:00.000-08:00

December 23rd 2005,

My bruises have all gone since my surgery Dec 2nd though i'm still swollen and in pain. I am looking forwards to going back to work in the new year.

Christmas is only two days away and I have mixed feelings about christmas this year. It will be our first christmas without my grandmother and I miss her dearly. Christmas or any other day will never be the same again.

a week later...

2005-12-09T10:21:00.000-08:00

Friday December 8th 2005,

I am a week post-op now and after a hard week I am feeling better! The swelling is graually going down and my bruises are slowly fading. I'm still in pain but I am feeling better in myself.

I am finding it hard to eat as my mouth,lip, cheeks are still sore but I have to try and eat more as the weight it starting to fall off again and I feel terrible.

Christmas is only a few weeks away and I still have some gifts left to buy. I am looking forwards to christmas in one way but dreading it in another way. I miss my grandmother terribly and this will be our first christmas with out her.

home!

2005-12-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

Sunday December 4th 2005,

I am home from hospital following my surgery on Friday. My surgery was only supposed to last 30 minutes but ended up lasting over three hours! The scan showed a severe infection by some plates and my surgeon had no choice but to remove the infected plates and screws. It was a shock for me waking up in pain and not knowing why, until a nurse mentioned that they had removed some plates.

I am very swollen and in a lot of pain I also have some bruises too! I am glad that the plates were removed and hopefully now I can enjoy the new me!

Day before surgery!!!

2005-12-06T06:56:00.000-08:00

Thursday December 1st 2005,

I arrived at the hospital at 10.20 a.m ready for my pre-op tests. I had my scan this afternoon it went ok all I have to do now is wait for the results! I saw my surgeon who said that he will only be taking a look around tomorrow and nothing else!

I am a little nervous about my surgery but look forwards to getting it over with!

operation/scan.

2005-11-26T14:27:00.000-08:00

November 26th 2005.

I go into hospital on Thursday at 10.30 for pre-op an dhave my scans during the afternoon. My surgery is scheduled for Friday. I am a little nervous, though I have plenty of stuff to keep my busy!

My dog is doing great, her leg is healing nicely! We are lucky that she's still here.

We has some snow the past few days and it was great!

update...

2005-11-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

October 16th 2005,

The past few weeks I have been thinking about my upcoming surgery, I am a little nervous though I know I don't need to be! I won't see my surgeon now until I am admitted into hospital December 1st! I will have to save my questions until then! I will have the same team as I had the past two surgeries so I know I will be okay.

I have been taking care of my dog since her accident and she's finally getting better!

Christmas is only a few weeks away and I have mixed emotions regarding christmas, as it won't be the same without my grandmother, she was such a special person. We all miss her dearly and would give anything to have her here with us once again.

operation.

2005-11-05T15:47:00.000-08:00

November 5th 2005,

I have a date set for my next surgery it will be December 2nd I will have a CT scan the day before my surgery so we will know what's happening. I can't wait ti get it all sorted so I can get back to normality and get my life back! I'm hoping that I will be fully recovered by christmas!

My hair is growing back at last but my main concern is whenever I wear my hair down around the house without my het, the scar on my head is noticeable so i'm hoping with time it won't shwo so much. I can't wait until I can get rid of my hat and have my hair back to it's normal length!

Dog..

2005-11-05T15:43:00.000-08:00

November 5th 2005,

It has been almost two weeks since our dog was hit by a car. She had surgery to fix plates and screws to fix her leg but it didn't work as a screw came loose. So the vet did another surgery but this time put the pins on the outside of her leg. She's resting in her kennel and is doing good!

dog

2005-10-25T01:55:00.000-07:00

October 25th 2005,

At 8.13 a.m this morning my dog was hit by a car, causing her some serious injuries. At the moment we don't know how severe her condition is just that she has a broken leg that is litterally hanging off. She was hit by a young driver, who stopped to see if she was okay.

Here's hoping she will pull through! She has been a member of our family for eleven years an dis very much loved.

Thinking..

2005-10-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

October 22nd 2005,

Today was a special day for our family, a memorial service was held for my grandmother. She passed away eight months ago and the pain of loosing her is still as raw as it was eight months ago. I read a letter and a poem that I had written for my grandmother. It was a very emotional, moving but yet it was also joyfull.

We were able to remember my grandmother for the kind,loving person she was. My grandmother wasn't just my grandmother but she's also my hero. She helped me become the person I am today, though life without her is hard there is always a special place for her in my heart and in my mind.

She's no longer in pain and her suffering has come to an end, but for those of us who are left behind our pain and suffering has only just began. But togther we will make it through, we continue to be a close family we have become closer since my grandmother's death I know she will have been proud to see us supporting each other through the hard times.

What a wait!

2005-10-18T10:44:00.000-07:00

October 18th 2005,

My mother phoned the hospital today to ask about my scans, and she was told that I have been pu ton the 22 WEEKS waiting list!!! The only person who can speed it up is my surgeon, he has tride that all ready. So we are considering just doing the surgery, or have the scans done at our local hospital.

i'm back...

2005-10-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

October 11th 2005,

We returned home yesterday morning after a fantastic weekend away we had such a blast!!!! We did a lot of shopping and talked and laughed all weekend! We didn't arrive until after midnight on Friday and we were up and out of the house by 8.00 am!!!

I had been feeling sick all weekend but put it down to doing too much.

My friend and I had so much fun, it was great catching up!

going..

2005-10-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

October 6th 2005,

Tomorrow I will be going away for a few days to stay with my dad and his family. My friend is coming too and we are planning on doing some major shopping!!!! we won't be able to go clubbing as i'm still on my antibiotics! SHAKE RATTLE AND ROLL!!!!! LOL!!!!

update..

2005-10-15T14:46:00.000-07:00

October 1st 2005,

My infection has spread to the left side of my face and I am on two different types of antibiotics for two weeks. I will have my scans in two weeks cross fingers!!!!

My face is still swollen and I look so funny! Hey at least I can laugh with them right?

signed..

2005-10-15T14:41:00.000-07:00

September 27th 2005,

I saw my surgeon today and he isn't happy with my progress and has signed me off work until further notice as he feels i'm not ready to go back just yet. He's concerned that I was able to open my mouth 20mm two weeks ago and now I can only open my mouth 17 mm.

I'm still waiting for the scans but hopefully I will have them next week. And once I have my scans I will be admitted into hospital for my next surgery. He's going to have a look around depending on what the scans show, he's also planning on removing some of the hardware.

cruel..

2005-10-15T14:36:00.000-07:00

September 26th 2005,

The weather here has been great the past few days the nursery has been so hot even with the windows open. My hair is growing back nicely now so I decided to wear a hair band that covers the scar instead of wearing my hat as it gets very hot.

As I was walking up the path I could hear a few of the girls laughing but I took no notice. As I was walking through another room I could hear them say that I should have stuck to wearing my hat and that I looked awful with hair like that! Again this came out of the blue and I faught so hard not to cry, but I was determined not to show them that I was hurt by their comments.

I'm finding work a lot harder as I don't have half the energy as I used to have. I am unable to sleep due to the swelling, pain and discomfort. I see my surgeon in the morning and he will probably sign me off work again.

back...

2005-10-15T14:31:00.000-07:00

September 23rd 2005,

My first day back at work! I was so exited but also nervous about going back to work it feels like my first day again! I have been into work a few times since my surgery so my work friends have seen the new me and have been great! Though I wasn't prepared for what they had to say.

A few of the girls made comments about my dents under my eyes and how bad they looked. I explained to them that it's still early days in my recovery and it will take time. When they thaught I had gone out of the room they went onto say how bad my speech is. I was heartbroken to hear them say such a thing, I know my speech has got worse since my surgery but again it's still early days. And I didn't expect them to say anything.

Other than that I loved being back though i'm shattered and want to go to bed I had a good day!

finally...

2005-10-15T14:25:00.000-07:00

September 13th 2005,

I saw my surgeon today and though my infection is still there and i'm still badly swollen my surgeon has agreed that I can go back to work. We feel that going back to work will help me in many ways. He also said that he has noticed that i'm not as happy/bubbly as I normally am, I said that i'm in too much pain to be happy and cheerfull all the time and i'm tired of fighting something that I can't win. Not to mention the fact that I feel like my life is on hold, i'm only 20 years old and have so much things to do and see but feel like my life is on hold.

We all agreed that I can go back to work but to take things slowly and if think that i'm not ready to go back then I shouldn't go back just yet.

First...

2005-10-15T14:15:00.000-07:00

September 6th 2005,

I saw my ortho today I haven't seen her since a month post-op. She was shocked to see that i'm still very sore and swollen and having endless problems with my recovery. She also fixed my brace taht was broken during surgery and it sure did HURT!!!!! I can't open my mouth very wide at the moment despite doing jaw exercises and not to mention the ammount of talking I do!!!

She was able to see that I was in a lot of pain and discomfort and gave me some pain meds! She also said that my jaw is starting to relapse so I have to wear bands on my teeth to prevent any further movement. They're not the bext things to wear but if it reduces the chances of needing another op then I will wear them.

She also called my surgeon in as she wasn't happy with my progress and the infection. He was able to see that things have got worse since I last saw him a week ago and wants to keep a closer eye on things. He also said that after iv'e had my scans that i'm STILL waiting for he wants/needs to do another op. He said that he wants to go in and have a look etc I told him that he had done that last month. He said that he hadn't and the only op he's done is jaw surgery!!!! I thaught he was only joking and I said no you did it last month. Luckily my ortho steped in and said that she knows that he did a second surgery because she was there!! He suddenly remembered that he had done another surgery!!!! I was starting to get worried that it was someone else had done the surgery!!!

2005-10-15T14:09:00.000-07:00

Spetember 1st 2005,

There is still no news about my scans and my surgeon is going to hurry things along again. I am on more antibiotics as my infection is spreading and is worse than ever. My face is so swollen, one side is a lot more swollen than the other side and I look stupid. But i'm determined not to hide away after all there is no telling how long I will be like this!

After my jaw surgery I didn't hide away after all I have got nothing to hide away from and i'm not ashamed of who I am so why should I hide away?

I'm bored at home and can't wait to go back to work and into some normality, though I don't feel up to it right now. Hopefully soon I will be back amongst my work friends!

congratulations..

2005-10-15T14:05:00.000-07:00

August 12th 2005,

My mother passed her driving test today she was very nervous before going but I had faith in her and knew she would pass. She was chuffed to pieces!!!

I'm still on my antibiotics due to the infection and was re-admitted into hospital for further treatment last week. I'm still waiting for my MRI and CAT scan, my surgeon is going to hurry things along.

infections...

2005-10-15T13:57:00.000-07:00

July 29th 2005,

I'm still fighting my battle with the re-occuring infections and still waiting for my scan. My face is so sore and swollen right now I am unable to get comfy at night and would give anything for a good nights sleep. But regardless of all the infections and complications I have had I have no regrets about going through with the surgery. How can I regret going through with the surgery I am a lot happier and a lot more confident not to mention the fact that I also have a great looking nose and I have cheek bones for the first time in my life!!!!

My surgeon asked what I like best but I don't know the surgery has changed so much that I am happy with everything. But it probably would be my nose or cheek bones, when ever I start to get down or face another problem I look at pre-op photo's and then look in the mirror then I remember why I did it.

another infection

2005-10-15T13:51:00.000-07:00

July 20th 2005,

It has been over a week since my surgery and it has been a very difficult recovery with many ups and downs. But as ever I have come through it all laughing and joking with my family by my side.

I have seen my surgeon again and he's given me more antibiotics for yet another infection. I was hoping that the op would be the last of the infections but it seems that it was a waste of time.

I'm still waiting for my MRI scan I hope it will be done soon as I can't put up with this much longer.

a week later...

2005-09-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

July 12th 2005,

I had my surgery a week ago and I wasn't prepared for what was instore! I woke up after the surgery in a lot of pain, the nurse gave me some morphine to help! What a nice nurse!!! I was laso having problems breathing I tried taking slow deep breaths but nothing worked. I wasbakc on oxygen and different dr's were coming and going. The next thing I knew I had blood pouring from my nose and mouth!!! It was very scary, everyone kept telling me to REALX!!! I had a very cute male nurse sit with me and talk with me, he tried everything to help me but I just couldn't breathe!

Finally my surgeon came in and took a look but didn't understand why this was happening. He let my mum come in to sit with me she was so worried! I heard them all talking saying the didn't know what was wrong and that I had the same problem after jaw surgery.

Then one of the nurses mentioned that I passed out while they were putting the breathing tube down! I WAS AWAKE for that part!!!! it was so uncomfortable!!! I ended up being put on a ventilator for a few days because I couldn't do it on my own.

The days after that are a blur I don't remember much.

My surgeon drained as much of the infection as he could, but couldn't remove the plate because the bone hasn't healed yet. He also opened my sinuses a little more to see if it would help. It is thaught that was the reason for my bleeding.

I will have an mri scan done so they can see what's going on.

Surgery day...

2005-09-30T08:51:00.000-07:00

July 6th 2005,

Today is the day that my problems will all be gone (hopefully!!!!) I'm the first patient on the list!! I will be glad to get it over with and back to some normality!

My surgeon is going to go in and take a look and act on what he finds!!

NINE times....

2005-09-17T15:13:00.000-07:00

July 5th 2005,

I'm so tired I can't sleep much as my face is swollen and is very uncomfortable not to mention painfull! I'm counting the hours down until my surgery and all this will be over with hopefully!

And as part of the pre-op the Dr had to do some blood tests and they also wanted to check my iron levels. I'm not a big fan of needles but I am getting better with them! Who wouldn't after so many after jaw surgery?She tried a few times and said that she couldn't get any, and she was going to ask the surgeon to try. She came back 30 min later and said that he had to do it as the team wanted the results. NINE!!! yes NINE needles later! she got a decent vein!

She told me 2 relax and make sure I get enough sleep!!! I am REALLY tired so maybe I will get some decent sleep tonight.

More surgery...

2005-09-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

June 27th 2005,

After several courses of antibiotics the infection still hasn't cleared, and it shows up on the x-ray that it's getting worse. So the only option we have left is another surgery!!! I am more nervous about this surgery than the actual jaw surgery etc because I don't know what they're going to do or find.

But there isn't any way around this problem. And I will be glad to get rid of the pain, discomfort and SWELLING!! I am soooo swollen!!! But hopefully he will sort it all out!!

I will have my surgery July 6th! two months to the day that I had my surgery!

take a guess...

2005-09-09T04:39:00.000-07:00

June 25th 2005,

Take a guess where I am once again!!!

I was re-admitted on the 23rd. I have had some osrt of reaction from the medication I have been given but we don't know what it is. But it has been agreed that something will have to be done SOON!!!!! Hey no kidding!!!!

My mobile phone has also been taken off me as the Dr thinks that I am spending too much time on it, and I need to rest more. SO not fair!!!!!!

No clue...

2005-09-09T04:34:00.000-07:00

June 21st 2005,

The Dr's don't know what's causing me all these problems and have said that it may take a few days/weeks to find out for sure. My hair's falling out again JUST WHAT I NEED LOL!!!! It must be the price I have to pay to have some cheek bones and a nose lol!

It has been over three months since my grandmother passed away, though it feels like it was only yesterday. I was very close to my grandmother and her death has hit me hard. I miss her more than words can say. I wish she was here with me once again.

Back in...

2005-09-09T04:29:00.000-07:00

june 20th 20005,

I'm back in this dreaded place!!! My surgeon isn't any closer to finding out the cause of the problem. He doesn't know for sure where the infection is as it's not very clear on the x-rays.

Today he asked me if I regretted having the surgery, I told him that from the results of the surgery that I don't but recovery wise YES! I knew that the surgery was going to be hard and painfull but not THIS bad! and I seem to be getting every setback/ infection possible.

Home!!!

2005-09-09T04:27:00.000-07:00

June 15th 2005,

I was allowed home today!!!!! I'm still on my medications!!! but ut's great to be home! I have had strict orders to rest and take it easy!!

I'm still on liquid food and I am bored of it all now. I have started having baby food some of them are quite nice lol!!!!!!

happy birthday..

2005-09-09T04:23:00.000-07:00

June 13th 2005,

Today is my little sister's birthday she's 12 years old! I wish I could be with here on her birthday but I will make it up to her when i'm home!

Happy birthday little sis!!!

five weeks...

2005-09-09T04:22:00.000-07:00

june 12th 2005,

Hello!

I am now five weeks post op and things are getting worse instead of better. Each day the pain gets worse. I would give anything right now for the pain to go away. I am fed up of hearing "it will be worth it in the end" everyone I see says that. And yes in the end it will be worth it but right now the end seems a very long way.Though I am still happy with the results of the surgery and i'm glad I went through with it but I can't help but think to myself sometime WHY did I do this? It's what iv'e dreamt of for many years having the perfect nose etc but it's a big price to pay.

The infection is spreading and it hurts to talk, I am constantly in pain. I am dreading seeing my surgeon as i'm afraid of what he has to say. I have been told that it's either the metal plates or the bone graft that's infected! So once we know where the infection is we will know what the next step will be.

My grandmother is still in the hospital and I still don't know what's wrong with her. I'm still trying to come to terms with my nain's death. It has been three months since she passed away and I am finding it hard without her. I wish she was here to help me through this nightmare. My little brother asked me today why she had to go an be an angel in heaven when she was an angel here with us. He said that he misses her and wants her to come home, he also said that for his birthday he wants his nain to come home.

Back in hospital...

2005-09-09T04:14:00.000-07:00

June 8th 2005,

I saw my surgeon today as my face has continued to swell and the pain has increased. He took one look at me and adimitted me into hospital and started me on antibiotics again. He says that the infection has spread and that he will give me a high dose of antibiotics, as he seems to think that my body has become immune to some of the antibiotics as I have been on them for so long and I have been on them a lot when I was younger dur to ear infections etc.

He is hopefull that a few days and I will be right as rain! I hope so!!! My hip is a little sore today for some strange reason maybe the infection there is getting worse too!

My grandmother is also in hospital, she is in a different hospital the other side of town. I don't know what's wrong with her and I am worried that my dad is keeping something from me. I wish I could be there with her and know that she's ok.

A month post-op!

2005-09-09T04:05:00.000-07:00

June 6th 2005!

I am four weeks post op today it seems only yesterday that I was preparing myself for the surgery. I dreamt for many years of the day I would have the surgery and I still can't believe that iv'e had the surgery and I am four weeks post-op!

I'm still very swollen but most of the brusises have gone. I am happy with the results of the surgery and i'm glad that the surgeons were able to do so much in one surgery, even though it didn't feel like that at the beginning lol! I know a few people that have had a similar surgery but had it done in stages, a few of them had the first surgery and decided that it was too painfull and they didn't go through with the rest of the surgeries. So i'm glad I had it all done at once because now the big part is over.

In another 5 months we will be doing further surgery to my nose, lip, scar revision and my surgeon wants to do a few other things, he hasn't told me what as yet as I need to focus on recovering from this surgery first.

i'm very pleased with the work the maxillofacial surgeon and his team did it has been well worth the endless ammounts of 3 hours journey's!

I am also fed up of the liquid diet it has been 4 weeks now and I have another 2 weeks to go until I can have soft food! But patience is a virtue! After all it will be worth it in the end! One thing I really am missing is DRIVING!!!! I haven't driven for a whole month! And I have another month before I can be allowed to drive! I miss the independance of just getting in the car and going where ever I want! My little sister passed her test three weeks ago and wanted to borrow my car! The answer was plain and simple NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know she wouldn't take care of the car and I have worked hard for the car. SHe has got her own car now but hasn't been able to drive it yet as she hasn't got TAX on the car.

I have pne regret about the surgery and that is, that my grandmother isn't here to see the new me, and help me through this journey.

three weeks post op

2005-09-09T04:00:00.000-07:00

May 27th 2005,

Three weeks ago today I was still in theatre having my surgery! I still find it strange looking in the mirror and seeing a totally different person! I can't get over how much difference this surgery has done for me! Everyone has been commenting on my cheek bones, yes for the first time I have cheek bones!

They have also commented on how great I look, even though there is still a lot of swelling!A few people have passed me on the street and haven't recognised me! Even though recovery has proven to be a lot harder than I thaught, it has all been worth it. When i'm feeling down I look in the mirror and then I can't help but smile well try lol!! I have plenty of photo's to share but I have decided to wait until all the swelling or most of it has gone down so I can share some before surgery, stages of recovery and the after surgery pics!

I am still having problems with my hip, it's refusing to heal lol! My Dr is keeping an eye on it but wants the surgeon to take a look. My hair is well what's left of it. I have a lot of bald patches now and even the hair where they shaved off during surgery which was growing nicely is falling out! So it seems that it's all going to fall out, I am in between two minds as to shave it all off that way it will all grow the same time. It's heartbreaking waking up each morning to a pillow full of hair, and when I brush my hair even more hair comes out! But it will grow back at some point. No one knows the reason for my hair loss they all say it could be alopesia or stress realted due to surgery. I don't think we will get to know, unless the dermatologist has some answers.

They are concerned about my iron levels I am on iron medication but it doesn't seem to be helping, so I will need further tests to see what's happening there.The scars under my eyes are healing well and I am applying moistuiser regulary and doing plenty of massaging despite the pain lol!! My eyes are still very watery but it's still early days as my surgeon said. He also said that i'm having a very slow recovery the slowest he has seen HOW NICE OF HIM LOL!!!! I am progressing well (i think so anyway!) I am able to get around the house without any crutches, but when I go out I have to have them with me most of the time I only use one.

!My mum has been great despite everything that's been thrown at us the past 3 weeks she has been a great support to me. Today I went out for the first time, properly I was able to pick some flowers that i'd grown and put them on my grandmother's grave. It's been 3 weeks since iv'e been able to go, it was nice to be able to go again. I miss her terribly.

Thinking of you...

2005-09-06T13:51:00.000-07:00

June 1st 2005,

Today is my grandpa's birthday he passed away 8 years ago and has left a big hole in my life. I miss him more than words can say. But I know his time was over, he faught a long hard battle with cancer right to the very end.

If tears were a stairway,
I would walk right up to heaven and bring you home again.

Thinking of you grandpa yesterday,today,tomorrow forever and always in my heart. Happy birthday!

Still here!

2005-09-06T13:36:00.000-07:00

May 29th 2005,

The infection did reaspond to the antibiotics and I was able to come off them, but the following day it came back a lot worse! I am back on the antibiotics I REALLY want to go home!! I miss my house, my bed, and having people speak wlesh to me all the time! It's funny how you miss all the little things that you take for granted everyday.

My family and friends have been great! I am never short of visitors and I always know what's going on back home. I can't wait to be back home again and back out with the girls! I really miss our nights out, though we will be doing a fair bit of retail therapy once i'm home and the cinema too.

I saw a Dr regarding my hair loss this afternoon who said that he thinks it's due to the stress of the surgery, limited blood supply to the scalp for so long, anemia, and my body's way of saying ENOUGH!!! He is hopefull that it will grow back at some stage! NOT SOON ENOUGH FOR ME!!!!!! But he did say I will have to be patient!

I have lost a total of 23 pounds since my surgery, good in some ways but bad in other ways! My Dr's think i'm not eating enough or not getting enough calories! Have they tried the liquid diet??? Obviously not! I am sick of milkshakes, wheetabix, yoghurt and anything else that is liquid and not forgetting the poison LOL!!!! (soup!!!! after having soup for soo long after fistula repair when I was 8 years old I have hated soup ever since!!!).

In hospital

2005-09-06T10:39:00.000-07:00

May 26th 2005,

The swelling and discomfort got a lot worse the past few days and I have been re-admitted into hospital. I have been put on IV antiobiotics to see if it will work faster and better. My surgeon is hoping that it will clear up soon before any damage is done, and he's worried about the jaw healing.

I feel really down right now and want to go home! But I know that I need to stay and have the treatment and I can have stronger pain meds here lol!!!!!!!!!

First signs of infection!

2005-09-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

May 24th 2005,

Just as my swelling and bruises were disappearing I am showing signs of infection! I am almost three weeks post op and I feel awful. Everything seems to be going wrong!

The site where they took the bone graft from opened this morning because of an infection. I have been stiched back up and hopefully it will heal soon.

My face has become more swollen and painfull not to mention sore, I can't touch my face without it hurting. The Dr says it could be a good sign that the sensation is returning but we will have to wait and see. There is something thinsg showing up on the x-ray which is causing the dr's concern. Everything is pointing to first signs of infection so I am on yet more medication hopefully this will work or who knows what the next step will be. I haven't asked my surgeon that question yet as I don't want to know right now, not until we have tried the antibiotics first.

I am able to drink a little more which is good, though it's hard work! But the more I drink the better I feel so I have to try and keep drinking. As eating is totally out of the question for at least 6 weeks. I think mum should buy a cow LOL as I will be using a lot of milk for the next 6 weeks!

Two weeks post-op

2005-08-23T13:40:00.000-07:00

May 19th 2005,

I am having a REALLY bad day today! I'm still very upset about my bald patches and they seem to be getting bigger. My friends have been round to see me it was great seeing them, though I was shattered when they left. They were shocked when they first saw me, they didn't expect me to look so bad, but they think I look great.!

I'm still shocked at how much difference the surgery has done, I wasn't expecting such a big difference. But it makes this whole journey even better as I have got more out of the surgery than I thaught I would. And I have cheek bones for the first time in my life!!!!! I often think that I am looking at someone else in the mirror!

I am fed up with having the same things to eat pretty much every day, I am a fussy eater (so my mum says!!) and I am only able to drink things that have been watered down and have no bits in them. Mam is coming up with all kinds of suggestions, but I have yet to try them. She's finding it hard seeing me in so much pain and discomfort, but she knows how pleased I am with the result of the surgery and so is she.

Hair today gone tomorrow!

2005-08-23T04:07:00.000-07:00

May 18th 2005,

After having the go ahead to wash my hair the first thing I did this morning was WASH MY HAIR!!!! I was glad to be able to wash all the blood,iodine and the ointment out! But the last thing I expected to happen was to have some bald patches other then the one where they shaved my hair off. A lot of my hair fell out which was on surprise as it has been 13 days since I was able to brush it let alone wash it.

If I could cry I would have cried so many tears right now. I spoke to the nurse at the hospital who said that it doesn't usually happen (how nice of her to say such a thing!!!!) and that my surgeon would take a look at the next appt.

Sarah

Twelve days post-op

2005-08-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

May 17th 2005,

I am twelve days post op and I am HOME!!!!! I was discharged this morning it's so good to be home though I am home for a trial basis. The Dr's weren't sure if they should let me go home as i'm having a hard time drinking let alone eating. But we compromised I am allowed to stay home if I eat/drink more I am able to get what I want when I want at home as long as it's liquid! and the food is a lot nicer at home!! But if things don't improve then I will have to go back into hospital and have a tube put in through my nose and get fed that way. I have been home a couple of hours and I have all ready had two smoothies that my mum made and some watered down ice cream.

I had the all my stiches taken out today and the staples which means I can wash my hair!!!! I can't wait to wash all the blood out it's been driving me crazy and not to mention bad hair day!!!! I am soo glad to be home and to be able to sleep in my bed!!!

I'm still hobling about on my crutches they are a pain! I can't even get myself a drink because I haven't got a hand to hold it. But I will make teh most of having my brother's and sister's running around for me :) Coming home was very nerve wracking as it was the first time I have been out since my surgery. There were a lot of people about as I was coming out of the car (which seemed to take forever!!!) but luckily they didnt stop and talk. There were even more cards and gifts waiting for me when I got home. My mum is very protective and nervous about me being home especially when people want to hug me.

People keep saying how brave iv'e been but to be honest I don't think I have been brave it's something iv'e always wanted done and i'm glad that I went ahead with it. I know some people didn't agree with the surgery but it was mu choice and it's something iv'e dreamed of for so long.

The swelling is starting to go down at last!! I am worn out from the journey home and the exitment of being home. I have very little energy since the surgery I guess it will take time, but it has all been worth it.

Sarah

Ten days post-op

2005-08-22T06:15:00.000-07:00

May 15th 2005,

I am ten days post-op and doing much better than I was two days ago!!! I am drinking a lot more and I have finally stopped drooling!!!! I tried some mushy food today but I couldn't swallow it as it was too thick! I can't wait to go home so I can have something decent!

I have had plenty of visitors to keep me entertained but there is one person taht I wish could be here with me today to help me through this journery my nain. It has been three months since she passed away and I miss her terribly, I wish she was here to hold my hand and to comfort me and I wish she was her to say it's all right.

I have been up and about on crutches with the help of the physio, but I must admit that I have been over doing things and the nurses took the crutches away as ordered by the physio and the surgeon!!! When I need to go to the bath room they are returned while I go to the bathroom and then taken away!!!! I have started to open some of the cards and gifts that I have recieved I never knew so many people cared!!!! Everyone comments that my bed looks like a florist and gift shop not to mention a balloon shop lol!!

I am hoping to be allowed home tomorrow it all depends if the surgeon is happy with my progress but i'm sure I can work my magic on him lol!! The nurses are concerned that i'm not eating enough (have they tried the food??)

Eight days post-op

2005-08-22T05:52:00.000-07:00

May 13th 2005,

I am feeling very sorry for myself today and everything seems so unfair. I had a bad night last night and I couldn't get comfy my legs also decided to play games with me. They simply quit working, I couldn't move them or feel them. So I called the nurse and wrote down what I was TRYING to tell her (the surgeon wants me to start talking even though no one can understand a WORD I say!!!) And with a very worried look on her face she walks off to call the Dr.

I am put back on the o2 and poked and prodded like mad, but in some ways i'm glad I can't feel it but it's not good. The Dr calls another Dr who asks question after question (doesn't he realise how hard it is to write everything down?) They are worried that I may have a clot and give me some meds just incase and they call the physio down. He does his thing and they all talk with each other like i'm not there! Then i'm carted away for a scan.

They find the problem and after several needles and meds later my legs are back! Now for some sleep I WISH!!! The Dr's have other plans in mind, they do more tests and want me to take a walk, yes take a walk at 3.00 A.M ( are they mad??) I tell them I just wanna sleep and they say not now, and say unless I get out of bed and walk with them and speedy (the zimmer frame) they will call my mum. (they sure do know how to blackmail some one!!!) After a few steps I feel really bad and pass out. I wake up a few seconds later back on the o2 and with monitors gallore!! I have another scan which shows that the vessel in my head is leaking. So another trip to the OR for me how fun!!!!

The drain was put back in (the brain drain was removed yesterday! and it sure did hurt!!!!) I told them they have to knock me back out to remove this drain!!!

My mum was very upset when she came to see me that she wasn't told about what had happened.

Seven days post-op

2005-08-22T05:38:00.000-07:00

May 12th 2005,

It has been seven days since my surgery and i'm getting there slowly!! I am needing my good friend o2 less now as they have been able to find the problem with my breathing and give me meds to help. I have been working with the speech therapist regarding my swallowing problem and we are making some improvement. My surgeon wants me to drink more before he will even consider sending me home, but he is very kind and considerate and knows that I am doing the best I can. So until I am able to drink a lot more the IV line stays in.

I have been making some good progress with the physio I am able to get out of bed and walk a few steps at a time with the help of a zimmer frame. To think that I wouldn't try the zimmer for a while I am doing good with it now, the next step is crutches.

Four days post-op

2005-08-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

May 10th 2005,

Four days post-op and I am even more swollen than I was two days ago! I looked in the mirror for the first time since the surgery andI didn't know what to do laugh or cry LOL!!! I know now why I keep getting the sympathetic looks from the other patients and visitors! I look soooo bad but I also look great despite the swelling and brusing!!

My hair is a different colour than what it was pre-op, it's now a nice shade of RED!!!! I can't wait to wash it but with 184 staples it will be another week before I can wash it. Do they expect me to go out in public looking like this??? My breathing has got worse and i'm still relying on my good friend o2! But I did manage to get out of bed this morning only to the chair that's right next to my bed but I got out of bed!!!! And boy did it hurt! we were going to try and do some walking with a zimmer frame today but getting to the chair was more than enough!

I have had several blood test and x-rays as it seems I may have a blood clot on my lung which is causing the breathing problems. I sure am keeping everyone on their toes! I had my first drink since surgery yesterday and it didn't do down too well. I ended up choking on it and I just couldn't swallow it, the surgeons think that some help from the speech therapist will be needed. I'm still hooked up to the IV lines so i'm getting everything I need through the IV, but the sooner I can drink and eat mush I can go home though I have been told I will probably have to stay for at least another 4 days!!!

My eyes are still playing up so i'm unable to watch TV or play solitaire or read! So I spend my time just laying in bed or doing what I do best these days SLEEPING!! My family ahve started to come and visit but I can barely keep my eyes open so really it's a wasted journery for them as I can't talk either and because of my eyes I can't write anything down either! But they want to come (really they just want to be nosy!!!) to have a look, my mum has said that she will call them and explain to them that i'm not ready for visitors just yet and if they still come then my Dr has said he will have a word as i'm not ready for visitors yet.

Sarah

Two days post-op

2005-08-22T04:57:00.000-07:00

May 8th 2005,

I am two days post op and I feel worse for wear! I am very swollen and badly brusied, I am in a lot of pain and discomfort but the nurses are keeping me topped up with my pain meds thankfully! Surgery went well and lasted just over 14 hours, they were able to do what they had planned to do, though they did end up taking more bone graft than originally thaught. I am hooked up to several IV lines. I also have two drains in place one goes from one ear to the other (i'm not looking forwards to that one coming out!!!)and the other one is in my hip where they took the bone graft. I'm gald in someways that they took the graft from my hip as I didn't like the idea of them messing with my skull, but they needed a lot of bone and it would have been too much to take from my skull.

I have blurred and double vision which is no fun! I have mountains of cards and presents to open but it will be a good few dyas before I will be able to open them. I am finding it hard to get comfortable as even the slightest of move hurts. I am having breathing problems and I am still hooked up to my good friend o2!! But i'm told that i'm doing good (it sure doesn't feel that way!!). The physiotherapist will be stopping by later and hopefully I will be allowed to get out of this bed! I haven't got out of bed since the surgery.

I have had 5 units of blood since the surgery to replace the blood I lost in surgery. Mr R said that it was like niagra falls when he opened my head!

Sarah

Day of surgery!

2005-08-22T04:55:00.000-07:00

May 6th 2005,

Well the day I have been waiting for so long is finally here!!!It's 4.30 a.m and I am sat on my hospital bed waiting for the time to go, I am unable to sleep with all the exitment!!! I am covered in bruises after the numerous blood tests yesterday. I also saw my surgeon for the last time until the surgery and he went hthrough the surgery in fine detail! A bit too much for my liking but hey at least I know what the plan is. The only thing that i'm not too keen on is the fact that he said that me might take the bone graft from my skull as he will be opening my head anyway. That way it would prevent another scar and the sore hip. But my head?? I told him it was up to him as he said it depended on how much bone he would need.

My mum will be here in a few hours to hold my hand until I am alseep, I can't wait to see her! Though I suspect she will be more nervous than me.It's 6.45 a.m and I have been told by a nurse that I will be going down in 15 minutes.

Sarah

Off to the hospital!!

2005-08-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

May 5th 2005,

I have spoken to the hospital to comfirm that I will be admitted at 10.00 a.m this morning! I am getting more nervous now knowing that this time tomorrow I will be in surgery. I have checked all my bags and I have everything I think I will need.

Sarah

Day before I go into hospital!

2005-08-22T04:52:00.000-07:00

May 4th 2005,

Surgery is less then 48 hours away and I have mixed emotions, I am nervous about facing such a major surgery but yet it will be the surgery that will make such a difference to my life. I am all packed and ready to go all I need to do is all the hospital tomorrow morning to make sure they have a bad available for me.I can't wait to get it over and done with it has been a long process but the end if near hopefully! But i'm not looking forwards to waking up from the surgery or the recovery but NO PAIN NO GAIN!!!! Wish me luck!

Sarah